Before
I read you this story, you need to promise me something. Promise that you will never repeat this story
to my children. Under no circumstances
should my children ever be privy to following information! Do you promise? Okay, keep reading.
I
have a secret; actually it’s a secret that both my husband and I share. We hide treats from our children, AND NEVER
SHARE WITH THEM! Now before you call
Child Protective Services, let me explain.
Our
candy hoarding days started a few years ago when our children were very
small. We didn’t go out on dates. Don’t get me wrong - we wanted to date. The idea of sitting down to eat dinner
without having to say, “Stop sticking French fries up your nose,” was very
appealing. We just couldn’t afford the
$50 it would cost for a babysitter, a French fries-free dinner and a movie.
So
we began to date at home. On Friday
nights we put the kids to bed early and stayed up playing games and eating ice
cream. The children were none the wiser
until my oldest was tall enough to peer into the freezer. “Mom, I didn’t know we had ice cream! Can I have some?”
As
the years have gone by, our dates have changed from ice cream/game nights, to
Milk Duds & Whopper/movie nights- Milk Duds for me, Whoppers for
Bradford. We stay up late eating treats
and watching a video. If we don’t finish
our treats, we hide them. Actually
that’s not quite true. I fall asleep
before the movie is over, and Bradford hides our candy before going to bed.
The
next morning when I wake up, I remember that I hadn’t finished my Milk Duds and
I begin looking for them so that I can finish them off. (Milk Duds rarely last more than 24 hours in
my house.) Usually I can find them no
problem. (I won’t tell you where
Bradford hides them, just in case you don’t keep your promise and tell my kids
about this. I don’t want to ruin a
perfectly good hiding place.)
Sometimes
I can’t find where Bradford has hidden them and then I have to do the one thing
I hate most of all - call my husband at work asking him where my candy stash
is. He’s probably thinking, “Can’t you
wait until I get home?” Thankfully he
never asks that question so I don’t have to answer, “No I can’t wait, I’m
addicted, I’m sad, and this is the reason why I’m 25 pounds overweight.”
One
day I learned to never call my husband and ask him where he hides the candy
again. That day was one of those
days. For those of you who get up and
leave your house to go to work, you won’t know what kind of a day I’m talking
about. But for those who work inside
your home, (whether you get paid or not) you will know exactly what I’m talking
about. I got up late, with the household
already buzzing and running around. I
jumped right in with the things I needed to do, and before I knew it, it was
5:00 p.m. and I still had my pajamas on.
I promise that this does not happen everyday. This is not the sort of day I brag about to
my friends. These are the days I keep
secret so that no one will think I lounge around in my PJ’s all day.
I
finally showered and got dressed about an hour before my husband was supposed
to be home. “This is great,” I thought
to myself, “my husband will never know that I’ve been in my pajamas all day.” Then I remembered that the night before we
had watched TV with a bag of licorice.
As usual I had fallen asleep and had no idea where he had hidden the
licorice.
I
broke down and called my husband to ask him where the licorice was. I kid you not; this was his reply, “Have you
brushed your teeth today?”
I
was thinking, “What does that have to do with anything?” I said, “Honestly, I can’t remember if I have
or not.”
“If you had brushed your teeth today you would
know where the licorice is,” he replied.
I couldn’t believe it. I had been caught. I spilled everything. “I have not brushed my teeth today, and 15
minutes ago I was still in my pajamas.”
I was so embarrassed I wanted to crawl into a hole never to be seen
again.
So
I have learned there are no secrets among a married couple. Eventually the truth comes out. I guess that is true for an entire family—eventually
the truth will be known... except of course where the candy is hidden!
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